Let Old Acquintance Be Forgot....

....and something, something, something. Christmas has come and gone, and one of my newest treasures from Baby Jesus Day is a brand spankin' new Playstation 3! Needless to say it was quite the surprise, as I had put it on my list to my mom as a joke. I guess she was strapped for ideas, as it was one of the items that I actually recieved! This week is my vacation week, and it's been pretty great. Mostly its been spent playing God Of War and watching Dr. Who, a series that has long been on my "to watch" list. Oh, and waiting for my birthday to arrive of course.
But enough about me......IT'S WEDNESDAY!

COMIC BOOK REVIEWS!!!!

Nemesis #4 (of 4)

Oh hey Nemesis, long time no see. The oft-delayed miniseries by Mark Millar and Steve McNiven finally draws to a close this month, nearly 6 months after it debuted. Within this issue we finally learn the secret behind Nemesis, and boy, is it a doozy.

Nemisis has been a series that flaunts its over-the-top action, and this issue is no exception. Millar's script is relentless, and McNiven's pencils are a sight to behold. The entire showdown takes place at the White House, where Nemesis has top cop Blake Morrow's wife, as well as the President. Here he makes an ultimatum: shoot either your wife or the President. "Your family or your job". What follows after that is a no holds barred shootout/slugfest, one that takes a few unexpected turns as well.


What really pulled me in and sold me on this series as a whole is the twist at the end. I won't spoil it here,but I was very pleasantly surprised by the reveal, and while some have expressed disappointment over how it serves the character of Nemesis, I was very impressed by it, and I'm curious as to how it will play out in the eventual sequel.  Suffice to say when the movie adaptation is released, I think a lot of people will be extremely surprised. That is if they keep the twist.

Batman: The Dark Knight

Whenever I hear that a well-known artist is going to be taking on writing duties for a book, I instantly prepare for the worst. While some can be Frank Miller......er..."Dark Knight Returns" era Frank Miller....most end up being like Todd McFarlane's 1990's "Spider-man" series, i.e. lots of pretty pictures, but really, really stupid plot.

With this in mind, I carefully opened the cover to Batman: The Dark Knight, the latest (and FIFTH) Batman title to be released. Well, consider me surprised, as this book wasn't half bad! While Finch's strong suit is still drawing pretty pictures, the story, which involves Bruce Wayne returning to Gotham to investigate the mysterious disappearance of a childhood friend, covers a lot of the familiar "beats" of a Batman mystery. We're also treated to some a few appearances by some familiar Bat-rogues, namely Killer Croc and a much creepier take on The Penguin. Dark Knight definitely exceeded my expectations. Here's hoping that it's not just a fluke.

What If? #200

We have now reached the end of Marvel's new line of What If? specials, with this one, "issue 200" being the last.  This issue focuses on the big "Seige" event from last year, which saw Norman Osborn take on Asgard and subsequently lose his power over the government. Oh, and the Sentry died.

This issue asks the question "What if Norman Osborn WON the siege of Asgard?" Essentially what this means is "What if Ares got pissed at Osborn and tried to kill him before Osborn attacked Asgard, and the Sentry ripped him in half days before the attack?" What we get is a Sentry that isn't as "depowered" as he actually was, and he slaughters the entire Avengers team. Literally. This may be one of  the bloodiest mainstream comics of the year, right behind the Punisher: The List one-shot. The rest of the story follows the surviving members of the Cabal (Dr. Doom, Loki, and Emma Frost) and the X-Men as they struggle to destroy the Sentry. Eventually he becomes the Void and destroys the world. Kind of a downer, but this issue was definitely the best of the recent What If one-shots.

Also included in this issue is a Galactus "What If" by Stan Lee, and a reprint of "What If Bullseye Had Not Killed Elektra" by Frank Miller, as well as a comprehensive list of every What If story and its issue number. While it was cool to have these bonuses, all it made me do was wish that we had an actual ongoing What If series again, and not a couple of crappy one-shots every year.

Ho Ho Ho

Christmas is so close I can taste it. This week has been a whirlwind so far, and it's only going to get crazier. However, I still got time to read some comics!

COMIC REVIEWS! 

                                                                                                    The Guild: Vork one-shot

The Guild creator Felicia Day continues expanding the hilarious universe of her web series with this latest issue. This time, instead of a mini-series following the misadventures of "Codex", we get one issue focusing on a different member of the Guild. The first installment features Vork, the leader of the Knights of Good, and his path towards learning to be a better leader.

Fans of the hilarious web series will eat this up, and the fact that Jeff Lewis, the actor who plays Vork, co-wrote the issue with Ms. Day only makes the story even more of a believable Vork tale. If you've been in the dark on The Guild, you owe it to yourself to check it out. I even put a link up for you (hint, it says "hilarious web series"). You don't need to be too involved in the web series to get the charm of this issue, and I can't wait for the next installment.

Batman, Inc. #2

Once again, I'm here to admit that I enjoyed the latest issue of Batman, Inc.  Bat-mastermind Grant Morrison's script is a fantastic adventure piece, and it actually concludes this issue! Yes, for the first time in what seems like forever, a Batman story has been told in only TWO ISSUES! Apparently Morrison's goal for this series to tell quick, action-packed Batman stories, and while it may be too soon to say, I think it's been working well.


Batman's battle with Lord Death Man continues, and the legacy of Mr. Unknown is revealed, which was a twist that I wasn't really expecting, and puts an interesting spin on the "detective" side of Batman. Essentially we learn that Mr. Unknown is now two different heroes. While the original Mr. Unknown became too old to fight crime physically, he still can use his detective skills. With this in mind, he has one of his employees become the Mr. Unknown that will go out and knock heads.  This revelation definitely was a surprise, and puts a whole new spin on the roles that both Bruce and Dick Grayson now play as Batman.

Yanick Paquette's art still shines, and his action scenes at the beginning of the book are pretty spectacular. No one can draw a giant squid sticking out of the side of a Tokyo building like this guy, and that moment in particular may go down as one of my favorite comic book moments of the year.  Batman, Inc. continues on its action-packed path, and for the first time in awhile I've been actually looking forward to a Grant Morrison Batman book wholeheartedly.

What If?: Dark Reign one-shot

After last week's bummer of an issue, we get another What If? story that starts off strong, but eventually fails to deliver. Unlike last week though, this issue was surprisingly predictable.

Back when Norman Osborne was in charge, during last years Dark Reign "non-event", Hawkeye made a threat in New Avengers that he was going to kill Osborne, stating that he couldn't stand by and let a known murderer and criminal be in charge of the country's security. Regardless of the fact that Spider-man should have been the one on the team to hold this viewpoint, Clint Barton eventually decided against killing Osborne. This issue of What If? asks "What if Hawkeye killed Norman Osborne?". Well guess what......he gets shot. Yep. The entire issue is just Clint Barton hanging out in Central Park, waiting out the whole bruhaha over killing Osborne. I honestly can't believe that Marvel let this issue go to print, as it honestly just kills time between Clint killing Norman and him getting shot and killed. We barely even get any reactions from his Avengers teammates! I really hope that next week's Siege themed issue is more worth my time, but at the rate this year's What Ifs?  have been going, I don't think that's going to happen.

Ten More Days Till Christmas.....

That title was a shock to my system. Hard to believe that in ten short days I'll be getting some sweet gifts, not unlike the one I'm about to give to you, dear reader.

COMIC REVIEWS!!!! 

Sorry, folks. This is the variant cover

Green Lantern #60

Despite being the only non-Batman DC book that I pick up, Green Lantern was a title that was dangerously close to being on the chopping block for me, as the post-"Brightest Day" storyline seemed to be treading a lot of water. Essentially now that there is a "white lantern" on Earth, all of the entities of the different corps (green, yellow, blue, etc.) are being drawn to our planet. However, Hal Jordan has been spending the previous six issues or so trying to figure out why this happens, and deal with the fact that each entity possesses a new person each issue.

While issue 60 does fall into the possession trap, at least a Parallax-possessed Flash looks really cool. Doug Mahnke gives the scarlet speedster a long, gaunt look, and his interactions with Hal are very well written. seeing as how Hal was the first to be possessed by the yellow entity, it's fitting that he should try to persuade it to leave his friend for him. Just as Hal gathers the other colored lanterns to help him, the mysterious figure who has been summoning the entities arrives, and though I'm not that familiar with him, DC history mastermind Geoff Johns still makes it a cool moment. Green Lantern may have been lagging for the past few months, but it looks to me like it's back on track, just in time for the upcoming movie.

Such a cool cover. Such a dumb comic.

What If?: Spider-man: Grim Hunt

"Grim Hunt" ran through Amazing Spider-man this summer, and it served as one of the best recent Spidey stories (even if it did undo the awesome "Kraven's Last Hunt"). In keeping with Marvel's yearly "What If" revival, we now get the answer to the question "what if Spider-man killed Kraven the Hunter in 'Grim Hunt'?"

I hate to say it, but I was pretty disappointed in this issue. The focus of the story is all over the place, bouncing between Peter Parker and Arana, the teenager now known as Spider-girl. This issue got off to a very promising start, but once Peter takes up the mantle of *SPOILER* the man he killed, I completely lost interest. And maybe it was just me, but the beginning of the issue implies that Spidey kills the entire Kravinoff clan, but then when we see him sitting on his throne (dressed as Kraven, no less), the entire clan is alive, and chained to his throne. What?

It's a shame that this issue wasn't as good as I was hoping, as there was a lot of potential with this story. As you guys know, I'm a huge Spider-man fan, and a fan of Marvel's "What If" series, so the two of them together should have been awesome. Instead we get a comic that starts off pretty strong, but then is over way too soon and doesn't leave much of an impact. Oh well. At least the cover is cool.

It's The Most Wonderful Time.....

...of the year? Despite the fact that I'm now done with Christmas shopping, I now face the daunting task of figuring out student loans. It is as fun as it sounds. However, when I'm not having a mental breakdown, I'm still trying to do some fun stuff. Like watching Netflix movies.

DC Showcase: Superman/Shazaam: The Return Of Black Adam
Starring:  George Newburn, Jerry O'Connell, Arnold Vosloo
Directed By: Joaquim Dos Santos

The latest DC animated movie from Warner Bros. is actually a collection of their previous short films The Spectre, Green Arrow, Jonah Hex, and the new feature Superman/Shazaam: The Return Of Black Adam. While all of the shorts are entertaining in their own ways, they still don't add up to a worthy purchase.

The main story serves as an introduction to younger audiences to Captain Marvel, the superhero whose alter ego is the young Billy Batson. After Batson is attacked by Black Adam, he is saved by Superman. Billy's escape is sidetracked when he is visited by The Wizard, who informs him (and us) that Black Adam was his first choice to wield the power of Shazaam 5,000 years ago. Eventually the power went to Adam's head, and he went mad with power. The Wizard banished him to the "dark realm", but has conveniently escaped now, when the Wizard has found Batson, someone whom he believes is pure enough to have the power. Now, whenever Billy yells out "SHAZAAM!", he becomes Captain Marvel, and his first mission is to help Superman take out the eventual ruler of Kahndaq.

If that synopsis seemed brief, that's cause the entire Superman/Shazaam feature is about 25 minutes. Once it gets going, it's over. And while Arnold Vosloo makes an awesome Black Adam, the other voice actors don't seem to be all that into the movie. However, the other three features are fantastic, with Jonah Hex not only being 1,000 times better than the live-action abortion that arrived this past summer, but also making me forget about how bad the movie was. If you haven't seen these features then this is worth the rent, but odds are, if you have the two-disc versions of DC Animated's previous releases, you've already watched them.
3 'SHAZAAM"'S out of 5

You've Unlocked The Blog Badge!

So far the most things I have done with my awesome new phone are playing Angry Birds and annoying the hell out of everyone I know with Four Square. I've acquired two mayorships, and I'm hopefully going to have two more by week's end. My plans for global domination are finally coming to fruition. While I wait for my robot drones to arrive, here are some NEW COMIC REVIEWS!!!!

"Got your nose..."

What If: Wolverine: Father

 We're going to continue to look at Marvel's "What If" output this week, mainly because I only picked up three books this week (it was a super light week for me). This installment focuses on the relationship between Wolverine and his son Daken, the mohawked, maybe bisexual "Dark Wolverine". Daken is a character that I know only the main characteristics of, as the only book I've read that had him in it continually was Brian Michael Bendis and Mike Deodato's phenomenal Dark Avengers series.  This issue asks the question of "What If Wolverine had arrived right after his wife Itsu was murdered?", and paints a very different picture of the man we know as Logan...or James Howlett.
 
After murdering his wife's killer (a still "Winter Soldiered" Bucky Barnes), Logan saves the life of Daken and takes him to the remote hills in Japan. Naming him John, Logan teaches his son the ways of living off the land, but senses something dark about his son. We get some very good character moments from Logan, and I found it extremely interesting to see this character that I (and many others) have known for so long as a fierce warrior act as a loving and caring father. Of course, after a visit from Sabretooth everything goes south, and John disappears, becoming a Yakuza enforcer named "Daken". Eventually Logan tracks him down, and confronts him as only Logan can. 
 
This issue was another great one and done story, but I don't think that readers who aren't familiar with the character of Daken will enjoy the story as much. The art from Greg Tocchini also had some very awkward moments, which made me wonder if there was more than one artist on the book.  However, it wasn't terrible, and if you can look past the odd panel or too you'll get a pretty enjoyable comic.

No! This "spider-man" kiss is all wrong!

Superboy #2

Jeff Lemire's Superboy relaunch continues this month, as the boy of steel is confronted by Poison Ivy, who is asking for his help regarding her loss of powers. The Sweet Tooth writer has a very strong grasp on the characters he's writing, and the art by Pier Gallo is oddly enjoyable (at least to me).  The mystery surrounding what is going on in the town of Smallville is also gaining more and more layers.

While I do enjoy the book, there's nothing that's really grabbing me to keep reading. I've heard great things about Sweet Tooth, and I do plan on picking it up. I think perhaps my lack of interest in the title isn't in Lemire's writing or the artwork, which I've already mentioned that I've enjoyed, I think it's more that I've never really been all that interested in Superboy. The most I've read of the character was in Geoff Johns' Teen Titans run, and he was "dead" for most of that. Fans of the character will probably love this take on the character, but I for one will probably be waiting for the trade.    

Loooooong Day

Man today was crazy. Since new comics came out today instead of yesterday, I had to book it up to Jetpack Comics after running the homework club. My feet are destroying me right now. Anyways, it's an all Marvel edition of comic book reviews!!!

This cover is a LIE! A LIIIEEE!!

Heroes For Hire #1

While I didn't have high hopes for this new relaunch of the Heroes For Hire series, I was optimistic in the fact that Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning were writing it, and I was hoping that they would be able to spin the same magic that they conjured on the "cosmic Marvel"  on Marvel's vigilante group.

Unfortunately this issue suffers from the good old "not giving us what is promised on the cover" routine. Let's see, on the cover we see Ghost Rider (a personal favorite) right dead and center, with The Punisher behind him. Those two are arguably the most popular characters on the team, and with good ol' flamehead not having a series of his own, people like myself would be inclined to pick this up to get their Ghost Rider fix (not counting the god-awful Shadowland tie-in).

Well guess WHAT? He's nowhere to be found in the book. Neither is The Punisher. The plot follows Falcon, Black Widow, Moon Knight, and Elektra as they prevent a dealer from pushing some Atlantean drug that's super addictive for humans. While the action depicted by artist Brad Walker is well done, I gotta say, the twist at the end was pretty weak, at least in my opnion. Add that to the fact that one of my favorite heroes who doesn't have a series right now never even appears within the issue, and I hate to say it, but I'm passing on the next issue. Heroes For Hire fans though will probably love it just because there's a new book out. More power to them.

Should've used ProActive man....

What If?: Iron Man: Demon In An Armor

I have a confession to make. One of my favorite series growing up was Marvel's What If? comic, which took many popular stories and asked that simple title question. Many were complete garbage, but more times than not, they were extremely fun one-and-done stories that often presented really cool and unique alternate worlds and stories. Luckily for me Marvel has brought back the series seemingly every year, using it as a way to show current popular storylines in a new light.

While this issue isn't based off of any storyline in particular, it does ask the question of "What would happen if Tony Stark and Victor Von Doom were college roommates?", as opposed to Reed Richards being VVD's bunk buddy. While the concept behind the issue is a little ridiculous (swapping brains is a bit much for even a comic book), there's a sense of fun and absurdity to this comic that I feel is missing from a lot of books these days. This issue was a great throwback to the Marvel Comics of old, and a pretty entertaining story for fans of both Doom and Iron Man. 

Christmas Has Come Early

It's only December first, and I already got one of my presents. And it's friggin' AWESOME.

That's right R2, we're getting a text message.

Yes, that is the limited edition R2-D2 Droid phone, and thanks to my amazing girlfriend and mom, it is mine. This was completely unexpected and definitely a gift that I will never forget, plus it was a welcome surprise at a time where I'm now realizing the glory that is student loans. I cannot thank both my gf and my parents enough for this amazing gift, and for how much they  mean to me.

So far I've still got to activate it, but I'll be sure to let all two of you that read this know how badass this phone is later on. It makes R2-D2 noises when you turn it on, so it's already gotten a gajillion points on the nerd scale for me. I feel like Luke Skywalker right now.

Deals, deals, deals!

Ahh the day after Thanksgiving, where everyone and their mothers hits up the local box store for some super sweet deals. Including me. That's right, I went to Target and Wal Mart, and while I didn't have to knock out any grandmothers this year, I did get some pretty good deals on some video games and got both Batman Begins and The Dark Knight on blu-ray for a whopping $5 EACH.

I also got to make it to Jetpack, which means the belated COMIC REVIEWS!!!

Ultimate Comics Spider-man #150
The original Ultimate Spider-man run was one of the few comics I kept up with during high school, a time where I had cut way back on my funnybook intake. Brian Michael Bendis' hold on a young Peter Parker coming to terms with his new powers was done exceptionally well, and much of that run contains some of the best stories of the '00's. But then Ultimatum hit, and the book was relaunched as Ultimate Comics Spider-man. While this current incarnation of ultimate Spidey isn't bad, it didn't have the magic that it once had, and I dropped the book. Plus David Lafuente's art made Spider-man look like he had a balloon for a head.

What's up helium-head?

However, we're now at the point where the original series would have hit issue 150, and of course, Marvel takes this time to return to the original numbering of the series, because it's not like they relaunched with a new issue #1 a year ago.

This issue finds Carol Danvers, the new head of S.H.I.E.L.D. as she talks with Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor on the issue of whether or not Peter Parker should be allowed to continue being a superhero. As each hero talks about their encounters with the wall-crawler, we are treated to a different artist for each segment. This decision was great as it really gave each character their own "voice" in a unique way, and the highlight was Skottie Young's fantastic piece with Spidey and Thor fighting an ancient Norse troll.

Unfortunately the only real extra content we get is a reprint of the "Spider-man Team Up Super Special" from the now defunct "Ultimate Marvel Team-up" series. For those who have never read the story, it's a great deal, but I myself was hoping for some more new material. While I'm not going to be rushing back into Ultimate Spidey just yet, this was a very solid issue.

Detective Comics #871

Scott Snyder, the acclaimed writer of the phenomenal American Vampire series, is the new writer of Detective Comics post "Batman, Inc.", and his debut is one of the best issues of the month. Setting the spotlight on Dick Grayson's Batman, the issue is filled with many awesome character moments, especially involving GraysonBat and Commissioner Gordon.

The plot revolves around a young prep school student who has somehow gotten his hands on a "hormonal mutagen", or the stuff that made Killer Croc look like this. Essentially the hormone makes you "de-evolve" into a creature based off of your most base instincts, and the parents of the children who were brutally murdered by their classmate  want answers. Batman takes it upon himself to locate the person who gave him access to the hormone out of the police evidence lock-up, and already his search has ended up with three dead bodies. By the end of the issue, Dick has already made his vow to hunt down whoever is responsible, and bring them to justice.

Scott Snyder's handle on the characters is spot on, and I especially like Grayson's father's description of Gotham. We also get some great character moments regarding Dick staying in the Wayne Tower penthouse, and his somewhat reluctance to continue being Batman with Bruce Wayne not only back, but also being Batman as well.  The artwork by Jock is stunning, and his work here is honestly some of his best. This is a great first issue for people intrigued by the idea of Dick Grayson being Batman, and is the start of what looks to be a great, if short, run.

Gobbeldy Gobbeldy Gook

I know what you're thinking: "It's Wednesday night, where are my comic reviews?". Well my (four) faithful readers, unfortunately they're on hold until I get to go to Jetpack Comics later this week. Why the delay you ask?

Thanksgiving, Duh.

Yes, this year I'm in Massachusetts at my Aunt and Uncle's house. So far I've already had to play "Secret Agent Tag" with one cousin's child, and apparently the other one calls me "Joe". I guess the "n" in "Jon" is very hard for a two year old to pronounce. There were a lot of quotes in this paragraph.

Anyways, happy Thankskilling everyone!

Expecto Reviewonos!

I saw not one, but two movies this weekend.

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part One (2010)
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Ralph Fiennes
Directed By: David Yates

We are now near the end of the saga of the "boy who lived", and my has he grown from the small child that we first met in Sorcerer's Stone. In the first part of the final Potter story, Harry, along with Hermione and Ron, are not returning to Hogwarts. The dark lord Voldemort or "VoMo" for short (again played brilliantly by Ralph Fiennes) is actively hunting Potter so he may destroy him and face no opposition in his rise to power. With help from past characters Lupin, The Weasely Twins, Hagrid, and Mad-Eye Moody, the movie gets off to a great start with a stunning chase through London, as Harry and Co. fight off the swarming Death Eaters.

From there on, Deathly Hallows exhaustively covers roughly the first half of the final book. Even though Hallows runs nearly three hours, it never once feels like it drags, and contains some of the darkest moments in the Potter universe. Director David Yates, who helmed the last two Potter flicks, has really grown as a director with this movie, and balances the action and the character moments exceptionally well.

Many reviewers have called this installment the Empire Strikes Back of the "Harry Potter" movies, and I definitely agree with them. Tonally, this movie goes to some pretty dark places (especially with the dark wizards' quest to wipe out all "mudbloods"), and the ending looks pretty bleak for our characters (unless you've read the books of course) . For now, this is one of the best movies of the series, and I can't wait for part two in July.
5 VoMo's Out of 5

Altitude (2010) 
Starring: Jessica Lowndes, Juilianna Guill, Ryan Donowho
Directed By: Kaare Andrews

Altitude is comic creator Kaare Andrews' directorial debut, and I can say that unlike comic legend Frank Miller's The Spirit, it's a pretty passable film. That's not to say it's very good though. The film follows a young pilot who decides to take her friends on a joyride. However, after flying into a storm, they find that something is in the clouds, and attacking the plane.  Andrews' pacing and directing style are fine, but the weak link comes in the actors. My god, there has never been a cast of characters that I wanted to see die quicker than this one. Each actor goes from freaking out, to being in control, getting pissed at another character, then BACK to freaking out. The visuals for the creature were pretty cool, but the big "twist" at the end fell extremely flat for me. While it's a decent first film, I hope Mr. Andrews' can get a better hold on his actors for his next film.
2 1/2 "Cthulu" Rip Offs out of 5

Comic Reviews: The Return

Batman, Inc.

Batman: The Return
Batman, Inc. #1

 As we all know, I haven't been the world's biggest fan of  Grant Morrison's idea to start "franchising" Batman to different countries. I've been fairly vocal in my belief that it's the wrong direction for the character, and that Mr. Morrison's ideas lately have been way too out there for the common reader.

Here is where I eat crow.

Both Batman: The Return and Batman, Inc. debut this week, and to be completely honest, they were great. The Return one-shot serves as a prologue of sorts to the first issue of Inc., and perfectly showcases how Bruce now takes his solo "war on crime" viewpoint and modifies it for a global setting. This new belief is showcased perfectly in a scene in which Bruce gives Dick Grayson, Damien, Red Robin, and the Stephanie Brown Batgirl their "orders", which includes Batgirl being enrolled in a school in England without her knowledge and some great banter between Bruce and his son, Damien.  We also get Bruce recruiting Catwoman to help him, as well as some scenes with Lucius Fox showcasing new WayneTech designs, which obviously makes any bat-fan think of the Christopher Nolan Batman films.

Batman: The Return

Batman, Inc. brings us to Tokyo, where Bruce and Catwoman are trying to find Mr. Unknown, a vigilante that Batman wants to train to be the "Japanese Batman". However, a mysterious villain named Lord Death Man  has already disintegrated his hands and killed him with a fresh bowl of acid to the face. While LDM is one of the more strange Morrison creations, his design is very cool, and I look forward to seeing more from him. I even enjoyed Morrison's nod to the 60's Batman  series at the end of the issue, which involved a death trap that featured a giant squid!

David Finch provides the artwork for Return, and as usual, his artwork is absolutely stunning. As a fan of his from his early days on Aphrodite IX, and Marvel's Moon Knight series. It evokes the serious tone of Batman's new vision, and sets the appropriate mood. Yanick Paquette handles the art duties on Inc., and while it's not the super detailed art that Finch draws, it was still excellent. His slightly cartoonish pencils really gave the issue the feeling of a good old-fashioned adventure comic, and fit the tone perfectly.

I'm both pleased and relieved to tell you that Batman, Inc. is not only good, but actually makes sense. I can't wait for the next issue.

X-Men #5

Well, we have one issue left of X-Men vs. Vampires. Thankfully.

This issue finds Xarus (the son of Dracula) and his army of vamps finally attacking the X-Men, and their ace in the hole is Wolverine, who has recently been turned into a bloodsucker. However, things don't go so smoothly for the new lord of the vampires when Cyclops reveals his convenient way of returning Wolverine back to his normal self, and of course, when a certain previous Lord Of Vampires returns.

Victor Gischler's plot seems to finally be going somewhere, and while this may seem like a good thing, when you consider the fact that this is the fifth part of a six part story, it suddenly makes you realize that the previous issues could have been condensed. I'm also still having a hard time trying to make sense of Xarus' motives for attacking mutants. If he wants to do it just to have super-powered vampires, why doesn't he just go after the other heroes as well? Is it just that the X-Men are closer?

Paco Medina's art is still fine, just like this book is. It's not essential for anyone except absolute X-Men die-hards, and the only reason I've kept up with it is because I've wanted to read an X-Men book. Unfortunately, it's looking like Uncanny X-Force is going to be where I get my mutie fix from now on.  

No Trailer Shall Escape My Sight!

It's here! It's Here!

The official Green Lantern trailer has finally appeared online, and while some of the CGI needs some work (that mask still looks reeeeealy wonky), it's pretty amazing how close to the comic visuals the movie is. Characters like Killowog and the brief snippet of Sinestro look spot on, and Mr. Reynolds looks like he'll do a commendable job as Hal Jordan, the Green Lantern of Sector 2814 (even though Bradley Cooper or Nathan Fillion would have probably been a better fit).

But enough talking, watch the damn thing here!

Wiki Wild, Wiki Wild....

Wiki wild wild HEX! Jonah Hex, desperado, rough rider, nah you don't want nunna....

Yeah, I watched Jonah Hex...

They forgot to add "Wild Wild West 2"

Jonah Hex (2010)
Starring: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox
"Directed" By: Jimmy Hayward

Let me get this out of the way. In no way, shape, or form is Jonah Hex a good film. My god. It's not even a "so bad it's good" comic book film like Ghost Rider or Punisher: War Zone. It is a waste of the talent involved (wtf were Malkovich and Brolin thinking?) and a disgrace to the "Jonah Hex" character and comic book that has been kicking ass and taking names for some 60 plus issues now.

The plot focuses on Jonah Hex (played admirably by Brolin, the only good thing in this movie) being called into action by the government to stop Quintin Turnbull, the man who not only killed Hex's family, but also scarred him as well. Malkovich plays Turnbull as the most bored villain ever. His voice never rises above a monotone, including when he is supposed to be rallying his troops to get ready to bomb of our nation's capitol. Oh, Megan Fox also shows up playing a prostitute who's actually a sweet girl. And a terrible actress.

The thing that bothers me about this movie (NERD RANT ALERT) is that the Jonah Hex series is so good that the writers and director Hayward could have picked literally ANY storyline from the amazing current series and had a rock-solid, old school western revenge movie. Instead, we get a Hex who, while looks the part, has the ability to speak to the dead and has gattling guns on his horse. For everything that movies like Kick-ass, Watchmen, Iron Man, and Christopher Nolan's Batman films have done to propel comic books and comic book movies into a realm of more "serious" entertainment, Jonah Hex comes along and drops a big ol' dump right on top of not only them, but the character as well.  Even die hard Hex fans should stay far, far away.
Zero mechanical spiders out of 5*

*In fact, here's a link to both Jetpack Comics and some "Jonah Hex" comics on amazon.com. Do yourself a favor and pick one up from either one of those places instead of watching this crap.

Four Day Weekend!

Yeah that's right, I've got a four day weekend. Of course a majority of it will be spent driving, but I'll finally have a chance to read some comics, watch some movies, and relax for a while. Until then, it's COMIC BOOK TIME!!!

Hey, Batman doing "Batman" stuff! That's New!

Batman: The Return Of Bruce Wayne #6 (of 6)

While we already know that Bruce  made it through time just fine, we don't know exactly how that was accomplished. Well, once again Mr. Crazy-Omega Beams-Dr. Hurt- Existentialism Batman (aka Grant Morrison) has provided us some much deserved answers. Kind of.

When we last left Bruce Wayne in the previous issue, he had arrived in the Justice League Watchtower looking like a Terminator crossed with an H.P. Lovecraft monster. However, we learn in this issue that Bruce had actually traveled to the literal end of time and allowed himself to be fused with one of the "archive robots", knowing that his teammates in the Justice League would be able to defeat him. In exchange for losing his memory, Bruce finds a way to stop Darkseid's master plan, which was to use Batman as a kind of human "bomb" to erase all of time itself via the omega beams.

The biggest problem with this issue is that with Batman and Robin's new issue already out, all of the impact that this story could have had is now lessened. We know Bruce is back, and that he wants to turn Batman into Starbucks. At least after reading this issue, I get a better sense of Bruce's new stance on this "Batman, Inc." idea, with Bruce realizing that he was never alone in his fight against crime, and that he always had allies in the forms of Superman, Wonder Woman, and others, even if they didn't always agree on their personal stances on crime fighting.

This miniseries' biggest flaw wasn't in the storytelling (which was confusing at times), but in the fact that it was constantly delayed. While I commend DC for not rushing the project, they probably shouldn't have promised to have had this all wrapped up by the end of September unless all of the issues were done and ready to be printed.  Return Of Bruce Wayne offers a more solid ending than I was expecting, and introduced me to Bruce's new way of thinking, and while the miniseries may not have been what I wanted, it was still a fairly solid story. Now I wait for Batman, Inc., and count down until it is inevitably retconned in two years.

This should be a movie.

The Thanos Imperative #6 (of 6)

Not only are we getting the final issue of DC's mini-event this week, but we're also being treated to the finale of Marvel's latest cosmic event, The Thanos Imperative. This issue finds the Guardians of the Galaxy, Nova, and Thanos in the "cancerverse", a dimension in which death has ceased to exist. With no where for the teeming mass of creatures to go, they have torn through a dimensional rift between our two worlds and are now threatening our very existence. It seemed as if Thanos, the evil god who has been working with the heroes, had just turned on his allies and was ready to be killed at the hands of the evil Mar-Vell. Without spoiling anything more, I can tell you that what follows is one of the best final issues of an event in the past few years, and makes Thanos Imperative one of the best mini-series of the year.

The writing team of Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning have really outdone themselves with this issue, and really give every character a moment to shine. There was not one moment here that I knew what was going to happen, and the ending, while bittersweet, was the perfect send-off for what could be the last cosmic Marvel storyline for the time being, and it's my personal hope that we'll see a "Cosmic Avengers" style team form from this event, which would hopefully include members like Beta Ray Bill, Silver Surfer, Gladiator, and other awesome cosmic characters. If you haven't been reading this, then you owe it to yourself to pick up the issues (or trade if you've been waiting), or better yet, go all the way back to Annihilation and start from the very beginning!

The Collective UNLEASHED!!!!

Hey you know that new Star Wars game that came out last week? I already beat it.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II (PS3, XBox 360, Nintendo Wii)

George Lucas' most recent way of getting money out of my pocket comes in the form of The Force Unleashed II, the sequel to the 2009 game in which you took control of Darth Vader's secret apprentice Starkiller, aka Galen Marek. Hunting down jedis in the original game was a blast, even if the game needed a little more time to hone its combat and difficulty. Oh, also, Starkiller died at the end of the game (or at least at the cannon ending to the game).

So how can Starkiller be seen in this game, flinging around TWO lightsabers? Easy. Cloning. Yes, in a move that nearly destroys all logic in the Star Wars universe, Vader has secretly been attempting to clone Marek, a move that has been very time consuming due to the fact that it is apparently impossible to successfully clone someone in tune with the force. However, Vader succeeds, and right from the get go things go awry, as the possible Starkiller clone escapes, attempting to track down his love from the last game, Juno Eclipse.

The dual lightsabers LOOK cool, but don't affect the combat much

Yoda's blink and you'll miss it cameo

What follows is essentially the first game, just with tighter controls and combat. In all honestly, Lucasarts should have either released this game as a downloadable add-on to the first, or waited another 4 months to give the game a better story. Many parts that were seemingly promised in the trailers and prerelease hype of the game are nothing more than cameos in the non-playable cinematics (COUGH Boba Fett COUGH), and many cool ideas, like Dagobah cutscene, would have made interesting levels.

Besides the story being waaaay too abridged, the game is also alarmingly short. I bought the game last Tuesday, and after playing maybe an hour or so here and there I had already defeated Vader and received both the light and dark side endings for the game. The game is just under 6 hours, which is a shame for all of the awesome abilities that you can use in the game. Speaking of which, all of your force abilities are available right from the get-go, but you also get a new "Jedi Mind Trick" ability, which allows you to make your enemies turn on one another with hilarious results.

I don't want to sound like I'm hating on this game, I'm just extremely disappointed with its story and length. As a fan of the original's characters and story, I had very high hopes for this sequel, and perhaps they were too high. As it stands right now, even die-hard Star Wars fans should avoid this sequel until it's placed in the mark down bin.

Rooooad Trip!

Despite fighting the startings of a cold this weekend, I also saw a movie.

Due Date (2010)
Starring: Robert Downey, Jr., Zach Galifianakis, Michelle Monaghan
Directed By: Todd Philips

It took nearly four years for director Todd Phillips to follow up Old School  with The Hangover (no, Starsky and Hutch doesn't count), but the turn around for his follow up to the comedy smash of 2009 was relatively quick. Due Date is your typical road trip between a normal guy and a crazy, slightly psychotic fellow traveler, and while the comparisons between movies like Planes, Trains, and Automobiles may be apt, it's the star power of the film that really makes this movie stand out.

Robert Downey, Jr. plays Peter, the "normal" guy who is just trying to make it back home to California for the birth of his first child. However, after an altercation with Ethan Tremblay (Zach Galifianakis) places both of them on the "no fly" list, Peter reluctantly accepts Ethan's offer of driving him to California. What follows are your typical road-movie mishaps (car troubles, running out of money, etc.), but the way that RDJ and Galifianakis play off of each other really makes some truly funny moments, and in many ways I enjoyed this comedy more than The Hangover (blasphemy, I know).

This relationship between the two characters is what truly makes the movie for me. There are moments where it seems like Downey truly hates Ethan, not to mention the fact that his character is kind of an asshole to people. But there's still a lot of humor to him, and one scene in particular  regarding a child will definitely be a major talking point for people who view the film. Galifiankis is hysterical as always, and there are some moments in the film where we get glimpses of his potential as a dramatic actor as well.

Fans of both Robert Downey, Jr. and Zach Galifianakis don't need to be told to see this movie, as they most likely already have. As a fan of both actors, I've obviously seen the movie, and I really enjoyed it. The jokes in the movie hit my funny bone nearly every time, and I'm a major sucker for road trip movies. As of right now, Due Date is one of the funniest films I've seen this year, and definitely a major crowd-pleaser, so I give it Four Shakesbeards out of 5.

Super-Sized* Reviews!

*These will just be regular reviews.

Today's WEDNESDAY, and two HUGE books were released this week. Let's get to 'em!

Batman and Robin #16 (SPOILERS!)
Well here we are, at the end of Grant Morrison's long (and confusing) Bat-tale revolving around Dr. Hurt, traveling through time, Dick Grayson as Batman, and the omega beam, and guess what? Mr. Morrison actually has some answers for us fans who have been scratching our heads (or pretending not to) ever since Batman R.I.P.  wrapped two years ago.

Batman and Robin issue 16 is the final part of "Batman and Robin Must Die!", as well as the final story in the series by Mr. Morrison. Bruce Wayne has returned to the present day (somehow, as The Return Of Bruce Wayne STILL hasn't finished) and has joined with Dick Grayson and Damien to fight off Dr. Hurt, the 99 Fiends, and of course, Professor Pyg.  Morrison's knack for crazy out of this world stories is out in full force here, but unlike his other recent work, this story is actually fairly easy to follow, despite the fact that every other Batman book is late.

We finally learn the truth of who Dr. Hurt/"Thomas Wayne" really is, as well as his connections to Darkseid.  Now that it's been revealed, it was the most obvious person all along. His origin was fairly interesting, and this is coming from a Batman fan who prefers the Dark Knight to not meddle with too much hocus pocus. Hurt's "battle" with the Joker was awesome, as was Mr. J's short-lived decision to switch sides before being sucker-punched by Bruce Wayne, but it seemed like Morrison wanted to move on from it before we got anything from it. The Joker working "with" superheroes could have had a lot of potential, and unless Mr. J keeps this new outlook, it will probably be forgotten by his next appearance. We also get more Professor Pyg, which is never a bad thing.

Fraser Irving, Cameron Stewart, and Chris Burnham split up the art duties, and all do a commendable job. Unlike other books that have more than one artist, B&R 16 has each artist tackle a different "act" of the issue, and result is one that is far less jarring than recent books with more than one artist.

While this issue definitely gets my recommendation, I'm still not entirely sold on this upcoming "Batman, Inc" event because to be honest, it seems to me to go entirely AGAINST what Bruce Wayne's personal quest is about. *SPOILER* Bruce revealing in a press conference with Dick and Damien behind him that he has been "financing" the Batman for the past several years is very strange, and you can't honestly tell me that no one can connect the dots that a billionaire whose parents were murdered is actually Batman. At the very least, Grant Morrison has piqued my interest in the first issue of Batman, Inc., so I will try and give him the benefit of the doubt until I read it. Even if no one thinking to themselves "Hey, Bruce Wayne's kid looks like he's the same height as that new Robin that's been running around"  is a bit of a stretch. Then again, no one STILL can connect that Clark Kent and Superman are the same guy......

Invincible #75

Invincible is Robert Kirkman's OTHER awesome comic book. Unlike The Walking Dead, Invincible follows the adventures of Mark Grayson, a twenty-something superhero who protects earth as Invincible. Throughout the series, he has been betrayed by his father, Omni-man,  graduated high school, gone to college, joined the Guardians of the Globe, left the Guardians of the Globe, and got his girlfriend, fellow superhero Atom Eve, pregnant (but he doesn't know that yet). The landmark issue 75 is the latest part in the "Viltrumite War" storyline, in which Mark joins with his redeemed father and younger brother to fight off the evil race that they belong to.

While its cover may lead you to believe that Invincible isn't a particulary gory book, previous issues have out-gored most horror books. This issue is no exception. Kirkman's story pulls no punches, and artist Ryan Ottley gives us the treat of SIX 2-page splash pages. Heads are ripped off, arms dismembered, and like Walking Dead, Kirkman has no problem with messing with seemingly untouchable characters. The space action in this issue rivals many current science-fiction movies, and makes me yearn for the day that we get an Invincible TV show/movie, which may be a reality after the stunning success of the "Walking Dead" premiere last Sunday. 

If you've been missing out on Invincible, I strongly suggest you go back and snag the first trade. Like Kirkman's zombie epic, the tale of Mark Grayson is best experienced from the beginning, and once you start, you won't be able to stop. Trade-waiters of this series are in for a big treat when this bad boy is released as a single bound edition.

Zombies! Zombies! ZOMBIES!

It's here! IT'S FINALLY HERE!

TV Review:
The Walking Dead
Episode one: "Days Gone By"

It's tough being a comic fan these days. Now that seemingly everything with word balloons is being optioned as a movie, television show, or even audiobook, there's the risk of something that you love being ruined by its adaptation, which in turn makes the masses think that the source material is also bad. Exhibit A can be seen here. That being said, it is with much relief and excitement that I can tell you that AMC's The Walking Dead does not suck. In fact, it is one of the absolute BEST opening episodes for a series that I have ever seen.

The amazing thing that Producer Frank Darabont has done here is not only respect the source material, but also enhance upon it. Darabont directs the opener, which finds Police Sheriff Rick Grimes waking from a coma in a post-zombie outbreak world. He meets Morgan, a fellow survivor who has been camping out in his neighbor's house with his son. He quickly learns the "rules" of these zombies, as well as returns to the police department to retrieve his uniform and weapons, setting out to find his wife and child.

But that synopsis doesn't do the series opener justice. Like the comic book, The Walking Dead is less about the zombies and more about the survivors who are trying to figure out how to live life in a very new way. Even in this opener, we are given some amazing moments for these characters, Morgan especially (who really showed up for maybe a few spots in the opening arc). SPOILER The scene where Morgan takes it into his own hands to "put down" the zombie of his wife was absolutely gut wrenching SPOILER. If this episode is any indication, Walking Dead will have some amazing character driven moments.


However, that's not to say that the zombies don't look AMAZING. I sincerely hope that they Emmys create a special effects make-up category just so The Walking Dead can win it. Their wounds look real, they walk real, and they are the scariest things I've ever seen on network TV. We also get the feeling as viewers that none of these people wanted to become zombies, as there is a very tragic air around many of these creatures, especially the legless zombie that Rick happens upon (which also looks incredible).

If you're a fan of the comic and are worrying that you already know what's going to happen, fear not, as creator Robert Kirkman has stated that the story will veer off when allowed to in order to keep things fresh for longtime fans of the comic. Although with an opener this good, I doubt you'll have to do much to keep the fans interested. This is the start of something big folks. Don't miss out.

The Collective RISES!

Justin Bieber as Robin? No.....Robert Pattinson? No......I've got it! PRECIOUS!

 

Attention, attention! It was announced today in an interview with the New York Times that the third Batman movie will be titled "The Dark Knight Rises", and Nolan revealed two more things :
1. It won't be in 3-D.
2. The Riddler will NOT be the villain.

While the first news is a relief (with the exception of a few movies, I'm really sick of 3-D and don't see its popularity at ALL) I am a little surprised by the announcement of the villain not being The Riddler. Of course, Riddler was the logical and expected choice for the movie, and Christopher Nolan does not always do what an average comic book movie would do. This also furthers my hope that Tom Hardy will play Black Mask, although Hugo Strange would be awesome as well.

As for the title? Well it's not the best, but it definitely fits in story wise. For the 4 of you who haven't seen The Dark Knight, that movie ended with The Joker going to Arkham, Rachel Dawes murdered, and Harvey Dent becoming Two-Face (and allegedly dying). Batman allows himself to be blamed for the deaths of the police officers that Harvey murdered, and is now on the run from the very police that he once worked with.  Bruce Wayne has reached the bottom, and from what we can gather from this title, he will "rise" up once more to become Gotham's dark protector.

Anyways...it's Wednesday!!!

Superman: Earth One

Superman: Earth One is the first in a new line of continuity from DC Comics in which many of their top-tier characters are given new and "modern" takes. Yes, it's almost exactly like Marvel's "Ultimate" line.

However, DC is bucking the trend by releasing these new series as stand alone graphic novels and hardcovers. This way they can reach more "new readers" who may be put off by having to pick up a monthly title. Not sure how someone who can't remember to buy a monthly comic book will remember to pick up a hardcover graphic novel every 6 months, but whatever.

Odd scheduling aside, the first hardcover is out, and if Superman: Earth One is any indication, this new continuity will rule. J. Michael Straczynski and artist Shane Davis (who was one of the guests at Wizard World) craft a new take on the classic Superman origin, presenting us with a twenty-year old Clark Kent who is questioning his place in the world.

Maybe its because I don't read many Superman comics, or maybe it's because I'm still in my twenties, but I really identified with the young Kal-El in this series. Instead of always knowing what is the "right thing to do", here we have a Superman who essentially doesn't know if he should even be superman. "I've been alone all of my life" he says, " and if I show them what I can do, I'll always be on the run."

As opposed to his current regular run on Superman, Straczynski really makes Clark Kent a relatable character here. From a young age he was told how different he was from others because of the rapid rate that his powers were showing up. In order to prevent him from hurting someone, Johnathan and Martha Kent tell Clark about his "adoption" when he's seven years old. From the time that he is a child, Clark knows that he is different, but he wants to be a part of humanity like everyone else. It's not until the alien Tyrell arrives on Earth looking for the "last survivor of Krypton" that Clark must reveal himself to the world, or else watch as innocent people die.

The art by Shane Davis is awesome. His big, epic pages practically leap off the page, and the action scenes between Superman and Tyrell's army were some of the coolest images of the year, especially when they were juxtaposed with Clark's remembrance of his father's speech about "feeling fury and letting everything loose". Davis' pencils were a thing of beauty, and I can't wait to see what he does next.

Whether you're a Superman fan or not, this book is awesome. It's extremely accessible with the right balance of action, emotion, and character building, and long-time Supes fans will love the different nods to past storylines and the history of the character. I particularly enjoyed Tyrell's response to being informed that his army is doing nothing against Superman.

DC's main goal with this new series of graphic novels is to generate new readers, and as long as they can get these books into the right places and continue to churn out amazing stories, then it will be a home run. I can't recommend this enough, as I was pleasantly surprised with the amount of emotion and action within this story. Seriously, if you see this at your local comic shop or Barnes and Nobles then you NEED to pick this up (In fact it's already proven to be really popular. We were down to one copy left at Jetpack by this evening!). It's that good. Seriously.

Now bring on Batman: Earth One!

The Saga Continues.....and The Wallet Empties.....

How about a Han and Lando sitcom?

Another year, another Star Wars rumor. Apparently George Lucas is rumored to be mulling over the idea of a new Star Wars trilogy, which should come as a surprise to no one who's seen the box office records being broken by the Harry Potter series, The Dark Knight, and Pocahontas in Space Avatar. Ol' Georgie's decision is obviously a monetary one, but the idea that maybe, just maybe he could hand the directing reins over to people who grew up with the original trilogy makes my excitement jump to hyperspace.


Much of these unsubstantiated rumors swirl around the fact that we may not see the Skywalker clan at all, which is completely fine with me. It would be much easier for Lucas to either go far into the future or the past and tell a completely new story, with new characters and storylines. This way he avoids screwing up the already convoluted post-original trilogy  timeline. Although seeing the "Heir To The Empire" trilogy  or the Star Wars: Legacy comic series would be pretty sweet. However, the last thing I want to see is a fat Luke Skywalker and a grumpelstilksen Han Solo shuffling around the Millenium Falcon.

Grumble grumble...something about par secs....grumble

As I said before, if these rumors do end up being true, (even though they've been denied since the news leaked), the best way would be to introduce new characters and stories set far away from the previous movies. Lucas isn't getting any younger, and a lot of fans (myself included) would love for the taste of the prequel trilogy to be washed from our mouths. If Lucas is smart, he would come up with the over-arching story of these "new movies", and then let the best of the best write and direct them. I'm sure filmmakers like Christopher Nolan, JJ Abrams, and others would love to work on a series that they grew up loving, and George owes it to us, the fans, to have Star Wars go out on top again.

There's too much potential to NOT make more movies

Of course, if these movies don't pan out, I'd love for The Force Unleashed to become a movie within the trilogies......

Seriously, how can someone NOT want to see this?