Death Of The Comic Reviews!

Well, not really. But one of the books up is the infamous death issue of Fantastic Four, which of course has already been spoiled in the mainstream media.

COMIC REVIEWS!!!

Fantastic Four #587
Kind of SPOILER alert! (Unless you haven't been on the internet in the past day)

Ah it's here, the "final" issue of Fantastic Four, in which one member of Marvel's "first family" will kick the bucket.  Jonathan Hickman's storyline did start about a year ago, and while I've only read the issues in the "Three" storyline, I have to say, this was a pretty well done "death" issue. I put "death" in quotes because its a comic book, and the character who dies will most likely be back in 1-2 years, depending on the release of the Fantastic Four reboot movie. Not to mention that Marvel allowed the mainstream media to spoil the death of the character yesterday, so a lot of the drama and suspense is kind of gone.

Despite of this, the death is extremely well done, and the reaction by the one member who was with him was great too. We see the conclusion of all of the main plots of the story, from Mr. Fantastic trying to save an alternate-reality planet from Galactus, The Thing and Human Torch fighting a horde of Annihulus bugs in the Negative Zone, and Invisible Woman trying to prevent a civil war in Atlantis. In fact, of all of the stories, hers was actually my favorite, and I loved the moment where she finally makes her point known to Namor and the king of the other Atlanteans.

Hickman's script hits all of the right points, and along with Steve Epting's stellar pencils, make the final moments of the story really incredible, and extremely emotional as well. The splash page revolving around the doomed character is an incredibly stunning visual, but to me it's the following pages that stick with me the most. Those final, wordless panels contain as big of an emotional punch as the character's final stand in the face of ultimate destruction. Bravo Hickman and Epting, and R.I.P. Johnny Storm.

Action Comics #897
From the moment Lex Luthor's march across the DC Universe to acquire a Black Lantern ring began, I was holding out for one specific character to cross his path: The Joker. The Clown Prince of Crime is my absolute favorite villain, and I was chomping at the bit wondering how writer Paul Cornell would handle him. After reading this issue, I can say that it not only lived up to my expectations, but exceeded them.

This issue finds Lex arriving at Arkham Asylum, actively seeking out the Joker. Apparently one of the Black Orbs that Luthor has been searching for is contained in the Joker's cell, and Lex is looking for answers. While this issue isn't one that contains a lot of action, it gives us some phenomenal interplay between the villains of DC's biggest heroes. The brilliant thing here is the way Cornell highlights the extreme differences between these two very dangerous villains. The Joker is never predictable, and Luthor knows that. But even HE has no idea the things that The Joker knows, especially since the black orb "talks" to him. Hands down the best moment of the issue is when Luthor threatens Mr. J by saying "Has it occured to you that if you were found dead in here everyone would be delighted?", to which The Joker brilliantly rebuffs: "No...the bat would come after you", prompting Luthor to drop him. Even though Luthor wants to kill The Joker, he knows that it would cause more problems for him (like dealing with Batman). Joker knows this and uses it to his advantage. There's also a great Dr. Who reference regarding one of Luthor's assistants as well.

If there's one drawback, some of the panels by Pete Woods are a little strange. For some reason, it seemed like his Joker had a fake twirly mustache. At first I thought it was a hair or something on the page, but it in fact is a line drawn to emphasize Joker's grin. While I get the reason for it being there, it's still a little distracting. Despite this small hiccup, this issue delivered on all fronts, and is the highlight of the "Black Ring" story arc so far. I pray to the comic gods that Mr. Cornell is given the chance to write The Joker again, since this portrayal was one of the best I've seen in a long time.

Nerd Is Good

I mean "Greed" is good. I'll never be as cool or as rich as Gordon Gekko, and I'm completely okay with that.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Starring: Michael Douglas, Shia LaBeouf, Carey Mulligan, Josh Brolin
Directed By: Oliver Stone

When Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps  I was pretty apprenhensive about it. Regardless of the fact that I had forgotten that it was on my Netflix que, this sequel to the classic 80's movie that introduced us to Gordon Gekko (arguably Michael Douglas' best role) was released more than twenty years after its predecessor.

I will totally admit that I was expecting this movie to be the same as the original, just with Shia LaBeouf in the Charlie Sheen role. Boy was I wrong.  Instead, we start in 2001, with Gekko being released from prison for insider trading and security fraud involving stocks. The film then fast forwards to 2008, right around the time of the big stock market crash. We're then introduced to LaBeouf's character Jake, a young man working for a investment bank. Recently he's been trying to get money to help fund a fusion energy source project, and it's not going well. Oh, he's also dating Gekko's daughter, Winnie. This relationship basically serves as the main plot point of the entire movie, with LaBeouf seeking out Gekko after his mentor commits suicide after the collapse of the investment bank that he ran. He believes that Bretton James (Josh Brolin), a rival investment banker, is the reason behind the bank's collapse. Oh, James is also the guy who helped bring evidence against Gekko that put him in jail. What follows is Gordon attempting to reconcile with his daughter, while also advising/tempting Jacob with the tricks of the stock market trade.

Whew. If that seemed dizzying, it kind of is. The movie's 2 1/2 hour run time crams as much in as possible, which makes this movie feel like both the second and third movie of a trilogy put into one. Unfortunately, despite this long run time, Gordon Gekko isn't in much of the movie. While I'm well aware that he's not in much of the original Wall Street, he is the film's major selling point, so you would think that Oliver Stone to showcase more of his evil, slimy persona.  The cast does the best they can, and do a really good job, but even they seem to feel that they are struggling to keep up with the plot of the movie. Fans of the original movie will probably get a kick out of seeing Gekko shill his book and a great cameo from a recent tabloid star from the first movie, but those who have little to no knowledge of the original film probably won't see what all the fuss is about.

3 1/2 Gordon Gekko cigars out of 5

Nerd Day!

BANE!

Catwoman

What an awesome day to be a nerd. Not only did new comics come out today, but we finally have some insight into some important casting in The Dark Knight Rising. Today a press release was given by Warner Bros announcing that Anne Hathaway will be playing Selina Kyle/Catwoman, and Tom Hardy will be playing Bane! I for one am extremely excited to see Bane redeemed on the big screen after the atrocious Batman and Robin, and I'm very intrigued by the thought of Ms. Hathaway stalking the Dark Knight. Here's hoping that the announcements don't stop there!

COMIC REVIEWS!!!!

Invincible Iron Man #500

 Yes that's right, the latest issue of Invincible Iron Man is numbered 500. Like they did with Thor, Daredevil, and Captain America before, Marvel has decided to go back to the original numbering of the first Iron Man series, and while most of the time it's just to make a few extra bucks, this time it actually contains a cool story.

Writer Matt Fraction continues his stellar job writing the adventures of Tony Stark, and this one-off issue is a perfect jumping on point for new readers. The story, which bounces from modern day to the future, finds Tony contacting Peter Parker for help with a weapon he had once designed with him. The problem is that with the recent events of Stark Disassembled, Tony has lost much of his memory, so he has no recollection of what the weapon was or why he was so obsessed with it. In the far future, Tony's children fight an onslaught of machines built by the Mandarin, who has taken over the world using Stark technology. After Iron Man and Spider-man break up a militant group who has gotten their hands on the weapon, Tony then realizes the ramifications of people who get a hold of his tech. Even though the people he stopped didn't really know how to use the weapon, what if a group that DID got their hands on it?

The art duties in this book were split between series regular Salvador Larroca (who handles all of the modern day scenes), and Kano, Nathan Fox, and Carmine Di Giandomenico (who each take on one of the different future characters). The changes between the artists aren't too jarring, most likely because we are aware of the fact that one scene is taking place in the future, while the other is not. Fraction's script is quick and witty(I love his voice for Spidey), and offers one of the few one-and-done stories of the past few years. Invincible Iron Man is one of Marvel's best titles, and this issue showcases why.

Superior #4(of 6)

Whoa.  After feeling a little lackluster on the previous two issues of Superior, the latest issue by Mark Millar and Leinil Yu nearly knocked me out with its sheer awesomeness. This "Big meets Superman" story has followed Simon Pooni, a kid with Multiple Sclerosis who wakes up as his favorite superhero, the very Kal-El like Superior. While I thought the second and third issue could have been combined into one(and I still do), this issue was awesome, with some pretty cool hints as to what's to come.

I'll avoid spoilers as best I can, but Simon's reasons behind many of his actions are wicked cool, and definitely make me think as a comic fan what I would do if I had the same kind of fantastic powers. While it's pretty obvious that this was most likely a pitch for an Elseworlds Superman story, it still works as a story about a kid whose dream of being a hero comes true (even though I'm sure we'll be getting some more major revelations about that soon). While it took a little while for the story to kick in for me, Superior is definitely a title that you should catch up on.

Snowpocalypse 2: The Rising

Well, this snow day was unexpected. Before everyone jumps on my case about having a four day weekend, remember that I'm going to have to make up these days in June. Oh well, it's giving me time to catch up on some Dr. Who episodes, and read some comics.

Movie Review:

Piranha (2010)
Starring: Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Kelly Brook, Adam Scott, Jerry O'Connell
Directed By: Alexandre Aja

Let me get this out of the way: Piranha (2-D) is NOT a good movie, by any stretch of the imagination. However, unlike most bad movies, the cast and director of Piranha and definitely in on the joke, which makes the movie so enjoyable and hilarious that it has to be seen.

The movie starts out with a came by Richard Dreyfus pretty much playing Matt Hooper from Jaws. Of course for legal reasons they can't actually say this, but it's so implied it's almost amazing that you wouldn't get the joke. After an underwater earthquake hits a lake in Arizona, a rift opens up releasing prehistoric piranhas. Of course this is also happening the exact same weekend as Spring Break. What follows is a lot of blood, a lot of nudity, and a lot of (intended) hilarity. Also, Doc Brown himself as a fish scientist!

None of the characters in Piranha are fleshed out, nor are there a lot of surprises in the plot, but you know what, sometimes you need a dumb movie, and Piranha delivers that in spades. I think the best scene that captures the tone of the movie is when Jerry O'Connell's d-bag director character is attacked by the man-eating fish, and all he cares about after being pulled out is that a certain......piece of his body is now gone. If you enjoy really dumb and hilarious B-movies, then Piranha is the way to go.
3 1/2 dismembered spring breakers out of 5


COMIC REVIEW!!!!

Star Wars: Dark Empire Trilogy hardcover

I had actually bought this nice little collection over the summer, but until recently I hadn't had the time to read it. Dark Empire is one of the many expanded universe "sequels" to the original Star Wars trilogy, and I have to say, I was expecting more from it. I had always heard about the original story and was very intrigued by it, but I think the execution, while good, could have been a lot better.  Originally released in 1991, 1992, and 1995 as the mini-series Dark Empire, Dark Empire 2, and the one-shot Empire's End, they have long been out of print, until this new Dark Horse hardcover. 

The story takes place roughly ten years after Return Of The Jedi, and directly after the events of the Thrawn trilogy novels. The Empire is still around, but in the midst of a massive civil war. Numerous generals and admirals are vying for power, even though they all want to destroy the rebellion, which is now as powerful as the Empire was in the original trilogy. As Luke, Leia, Han, and Lando struggle to end the Empire once and for all, Emperor Palpatine mysteriously returns, and threatens to destroy everyone around him.  In the first story, Luke joins the dark side in order to try and destroy Palpatine from within, while Leia, still training to be a jedi, tries to stop him. The second and third installments tell the overarching tale where Palpatine returns (yet again), except this time with a new weapon called the Galaxy Gun, which can fire a missile into hyperspace. Essentially it is like the Death Star, but it doesn't need to be near a planet to blow it up.

One of the biggest things that stuck out to me in this collection was the artwork, and not in a good way. The coloring is very muddy, and many characters don't look like their big-screen counterparts. While I wasn't expecting anything photorealistic, the fact that every character has the large-broad shoulders and looks kind of like Sin City rejects is not very appealing. the story is very serviceable, but its a bit difficult to follow, especially when it calls back to events revealing Palpatine's past and the Clone Wars that probably have now been retconned due to the prequels. However, Palpatine's use of clone bodies to resurrect himself is kind of cool, and keeps in line with his use of clone troopers.  The plots of both stories are quick, and almost too quick. In the course of the first Dark Empire, Luke joins the dark side, the Rebels fight the Empire again, Leia finds out she's pregnant with her third child, fights Luke, and the Emperor is killed again. A lot of key moments happen off panel, and while it doesn't hurt the story too much, it would have been really helpful to get more scenes with Luke and Palpatine so that the reader "buys" his turn more effectively. Another odd choice is that there are panels where the scene is described for you, almost like the editors decided to use the notes for the artist as captions. I know that these stories were written in the early 90's, but I think that readers would be able to figure out that the statue in the Sith Castle is of Darth Vader by looking at the PICTURE OF IT!

Despite all of this, I still think the story is pretty cool, and the scenes with Luke turning to the dark side are pretty interesting. It's just a shame that there wasn't a whole lot more fleshing out with the story (which one could argue is something nearly every Star Wars project suffers from). I do think these would make some cool movies, but of course, the original cast is way too old to make this seem plausible, and I don't think the nerd world could handle a new cast taking on these iconic characters. The Dark Empire Trilogy collection is the only way that you can get these stories now without dropping some serious cash on ebay, and if you're really interested in it, then check it out. It's better than the prequels!

Double Review Time!!!!

Well, I had a day off, which means that I had a lot of free time today. As all of you know, that means two things: playing video games and watching movies. These things I did today.

God Of War 3

I have finally made it to the end of Kratos' long journey to kill the king of the gods, and destroy anyone else in his path. God Of War 3 is the final(?) installment in the popular Playstation 3 franchise, and is the best yet. The graphics are simply stunning, and the changes made to the classic control scheme are not just superficial ones. They actually make some great combat choices for the player.

The game opens with Kratos leading the Titans to Mount Olympus, and once the epic first level begins, the action never lets up. After defeating Poseidon, Kratos learns that he must reach the flame of Olympus before he can confront Zeus again and destroy him. This journey brings him to the Underworld, the labyrinth, and the temple of Aphrodite. Along the way Kratos battles even more mythical beasts and heroes, and by the end you feel so powerful that you may even want to try your hand at taking on a cerebus or two(I wouldn't recommend it though).

Like the previous installments, GoW 3 is NOT for the faint of heart. In fact, the gore in this game is possibly even more intense than in the previous games. A lot of this can be attributed to the sheer power that the Playstation 3 has. Another interesting aspect of the game is the change in magic abilities. This time, magic attacks are linked with different weapons. In order to use that magic attack, you must first switch to the appropriate weapon that it is associated with. Luckily the different weapons are useful, and not just pale imitations of Kratos' signature blades.


God Of War 3, like the previous two titles before it, is a must have game that brings the tale of Kratos to a satisfying end. Playstation 3 owners who haven't played it yet are really missing out, and the game earns its place as one of the few gaming masterpieces.

Green Hornet (2011)
Starring: Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Christoph Waltz
Directed By: Michel Gondry

As someone who used to watch the original Green Hornet reruns with my dad as a kid, when I first heard about a Green Hornet movie starring Seth Green, I was pretty skeptical. In fact, I was pretty much against the entire thing. However, once I started hearing about the fantastic advance screenings (and the hilarious "Gangsta's Paradise" TV spots) I started to come around. And I'm glad I did, as Green Hornet was one of the best times I've had watching a movie in theaters this year so far.

In a departure from the "classic" Green Hornet lore, Seth Rogen stars as Britt Reid, now re-imagined as a slacker trust fund kid who's dad is the owner of the Daily Sentinel, one of the last newspapers that isn't run by a major conglomerate. After his dad is found dead (possibly murdered?), Reid meets up with Kato, his father's former mechanic, and after a night of drinking, they go out to "do something crazy". After accidentally saving a couple from being mugged, Reid decides to start fighting crime, not because he wants to help people, but because it would probably piss off his dad. As Kato develops the car, the guns, Britt gets his paper to play up the Green Hornet's adventures, while Christoph Waltz' villainous mob boss tries to take over the LA criminal underworld.

One of the best aspects of Green Hornet is that it not only plays up the fact that the Green Hornet allows the press to think he's a villain, but it also brings up the (hilarious) fact that by and large, Kato does ALL of the fighting. What adds to this is that Jay Chou is one of the best things about this movie, despite the fact that his English isn't that great. His chemistry with Rogen is hilarious, and his fight scenes are stunning. Director Michel Gondry has definitely shown that he can shoot a fight scene, and I'm really excited to see what he does next.

While Green Hornet may not have the credibility that Batman and Spider-man have, I think it actually helps the comedic tone of this movie. Many of the jokes really hit, and the action scenes are really well done. I wasn't expecting much from this flick, but I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed the movie. If Kick-Ass and Pineapple Express  a baby, it would be Green Hornet.
4 Katos out of 5

Snowpocalypse!

While I think the term "snowpocalypse" may be used too often whenever it snows, I feel that today is the best description of the coating of snow that NH received. I spent the day playing God Of War 3, attempting to sled, and getting stuck in the Jetpack Comics parking lot. I also drove to Ossipee, which was a biiiiig mistake. Anyways despite the snow, I picked up some comics!

COMIC REVIEWS!!!!!!
Note: Today I had NOTHING that I regularly buy come in, so we're getting a comic that ties into the last issue of Action Comics, and the 200th issue of Spawn. Be excited 

Secret Six # 29

As the note above says, none of my usual comics shipped this week. So, I ended up picking up the latest issue of Secret Six, which serves as the  second part of the "Savage" story arc in last month's Action Comics. Secret Six is a series that I've read the first two trades of, and I've really enjoyed them, but for some reason I always forget about it when I have the extra cash to pick up a trade or two. That should change really soon, as while I did find out the rest of Lex Luthor's confrontation with Vandal Savage,   I probably would've enjoyed the issue more if I had been reading Secret Six regularly.

The issue's focus shifts to the Secret Six, who have been hired by Luthor to protect him from Savage. Seeing as how Savage's daughter is a member of the team, Lex figures that he has an ace in the hole. While I knew that this issue wouldn't be penned by Action writer Paul Cornell, I was still a little let down by the fact that there wasn't a more in depth catch up page for readers who are picking this up for the first time, just so they know the complete story behind Lex's quest for a black lantern ring. What follows is some good character work from writer Gail Simone, but to be it wasn't anything that blew me away. I've heard phenomenal things about Secret Six recently, so I'm assuming this can be blamed on the fact that perhaps this crossover was shoehorned in as a way to boost sales. If anything, the issue has reminded me to seek out those earlier Secret Six trades.

Spawn #200

Seeing as how I haven't read a Spawn comic book in over ten years, I picked up issue 200 primarily out of curiosity, and also because it's an anniversary book that marks one of the first (and possibly) only comic series that hasn't been published by the "big two" to hit the 200 issue mark. Unfortunately there's nothing to help ease me into the new status quo of the book.

Apparently Al Simmons is no longer Spawn. Apparently he committed suicide a few years ago, and as a result, created a new species of hellspawns called "Omegas". The Spawn suit attached itself to Jim Downing, a guy who has been in a coma, and is now being led by the formerly evil Clown, who is trying to turn over a new leaf. After a four page prologue (written and drawn by Walking Dead creator Robert Kirkman, YES, THAT ROBERT KIRKMAN!), what we essentially get is a giant fight, in which Spawn battles the Omega Spawn, and Clown/Violator battles Freak. We also get some revelations regarding Freak, as well as Jim and Al talking about the weird void that they are sent to when they "die".

Apparently picking this book up and thinking it was a jumping on point was a mistake on my part. While it's great that Todd McFarlane's creation has made it this far, I've been so out of the loop on the character that I legitimately had NO idea what was going on, and why some of the revelations mattered.  I'm sure Spawn die-hards(if there even are any anymore) will eat this up, but I was hoping for something that would be more reader friendly.

Time for Vengeance!!!

As you all know, I received a Playstation 3 for Christmas/birthday present, and let me just say: WOW. This thing is impressive. I'm not going to be turning in my Xbox 360 anytime soon, but this thing is pretty spectacular.  I was once the owner of a Playstation 2, and one of my favorite game series was God Of War, so naturally the first games I picked up were not only the third installment in the series, but also the God Of War Collection as well, which will be reviewed right......now:

God Of War Collection (PS3) 

 Replaying both of these games was quite the trip down memory lane, and it's both amazing and a relief to say that both games still hold up, despite the original God Of War being released some 6 years(!) ago. For those unfamiliar with the story, God Of War follows Kratos, a former Spartan warrior who is on a quest to murder Ares, the titular god of war. After offering his life to Ares in order to defeat an invading barbarian hoard, Kratos is given the "blades of chaos", a set of swords which are permanently attached to his wrists, and is tasked with doing the bidding of the gods. This involves everything from destroying cities to dispatching monsters, but when Kratos is tricked by Ares, he leaves, roaming the Earth. The game follows Kratos as he finally comes in contact with the means to destroy Ares: unlocking Pandora's box, and with it, the power to kill a god. The second game has Ares track down the sisters of fate in order to undo his death at the hands of Zeus, and gain vengeance on the rest of Olympus.

The battle with the hydra is one of the best opening levels EVER

One of the great things about the God Of War series is its balance of action and puzzle solving. Normally I'm not entirely thrilled when I have to break up fighting to solve some puzzles, but throughout both GoW games the puzzles are given to you for a reason. None of them are too difficult, and some, like the fantastic "Pandora's temple" puzzle, take up an entire level and never feel like puzzles. Many of the creature designs are great as well, with all of the monsters, gods. and even warriors being given a realistic look to them, while at the same time looking very familiar.

Guess what happens when that hammer comes down?

Of course, I'd be remiss to not mention the action. Both God of War  and its sequel are some of the best action games of all time, and many boss battles will be remembered for many years to come. The game is definitely NOT for a the faint of heart however, as the many ways that Kratos destroys, disembowels, dismembers, and beheads his enemies are extremely violent, with my personal favorite still being the minotaur kill. There's also a surprising amount of adult content in the series. This is a series that not only pushes the "M" rating to the limit, but relishes in it as well.

My only complaint is that I played both games back to back, and the subtle control differences in God Of War 2 took some getting used to. I also found the second installment of the series to be a lot longer and dragged on more than I remembered, but that also may be because I played it right after the first game. The story in the second game isn't as strong as the first, but it's no where near something like The Force Unleashed 2. 


The God Of War Collection is an essential purchase for Playstation 3 owners. Even though you don't need to play it before God Of War 3, if you have the opportunity to go back to the originals with enhanced graphics, why wouldn't you? And yes, I've already played the first level of GoW 3, so expect a review of that soon. If you are a fan of Greek mythology and own a PS3 and you HAVEN'T gotten this yet, then there  is something wrong with you.

Comic Reviews! Walking Dead: No Way Out! Ultimate Cap #1

Alright, I've calmed down a little after the whole Andrew Garfield "Hipster Spidey" ordeal. There are pictures online that look a little better, but still, how are they going to hide all of that hair in the Spider-man mask?  Anyways......

COMIC REVIEWS!!!!!!

The Walking Dead #80

 And so begins "No Way Out", the latest chapter in Robert Kirkman's saga. Where we last left Rick Grimes and Co., Rick was just named the new leader of survivors residing in the gated community, and after an attack on their sanctuary by other survivors, the members find a herd of walkers swarming their gates.

While we know that the other foot has been treatening to drop for some time now, it doesn't take away from any of the tension in this issue, and we get some great character moments from both former community leader Douglas, but also Rick's son Carl, who is quickly becoming one of the stand out characters of the book. Watching his character go from a young, innocent child to a hardened little badass is both chilling and heartbreaking. Kirkman and Adlard's work on this series continues to impress, and the ending of the issue points to some big changes for Rick in the coming months.

Ultimate Captain America #1 (of 4)

Holy crap. It's only the first week of the new year, and already Ultimate Captain America has some of the best action I've seen in a comic this year. This should come as no surprise as the creative team behind the fantastic Wolverine: Weapon X series is handling this mini-series exploring some of he secrets of what took place in the Ultimate universe while Cap was on ice.

Writer Jason Aaron's take on Steve Rodgers is a little more "gung-ho" than his 616 counterpart, but his fantastic voice shines through in the other characters. In the Ultimate universe, Steve Rodgers is not a great stealth man. Instead, he's the guy who will run in, grab the hostages, and kill every bad guy in the room. He's more "shock and awe" than "clandestine killer", and there's a great line from ultimate Hawkeye regarding this. The final reveal of the enemy here is pretty cool, and I can't wait to see his story.  Ron Garney's pencils are fantastic. There's a real sense of fluidity in his images, especially when Rodgers and his masked enemy throw down at a helipad. I'm definitely intrigued as to where this goes, and I hope that it can live up to the promise shown here.  

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

That is the sound of my inner Spider-man nerd looking at this:

As you all know, I am a Spider-man fanatic. I have stuck with the character through thick and thin. Through "The Clone Saga", through "One More Day". Hell, I even played the Spider-man: Friend Or Foe videogame. When I heard that Sony had decided to reboot the Spidey movie series, I was both upset and kind of relieved. For one thing, I wouldn't have to watch Kirsten Dunst play Mary Jane ever again, but I was also hoping that Sam Raimi could come back and make up for Spider-man 3's dance numbers and underuse of Venom. Through all of the casting announcements, villain rumors (including that absolutely idiotic "Proto-Goblin" one) and discussions of including Peter Parkers PARENTS in the movie, I held hope, all because I want the best for my favorite superhero.

What I wasn't expecting was a film crossover with Twilight. Look, I know this is a gut reaction, but come on. Look at that. If it was even a possibility that Sony wasn't listening to the fans before, then this is all but a confirmation of it.  Word on the street is that they are going to be basing this film more on the "Ultimate" universe Spider-man, so let's take a look at him:

Now maybe it's just me, but Mark Bagley's depiction of a teenage nerd doesn't look like Edward Cullen. So let's try David LaFuente's version. Granted, its his art that made me drop the book, but let's look just for argument's sake:

Hmmm, nope. No sparkly Spidey here either.

Look, I completely understand that I'm overreacting here, but Spider-man is my absolute favorite comic book character (although Batman is a close second). He is the person who I strive to emulate even to this day. He is all about trying to do the absolute best, and never giving up. I know it sounds like I'm just sitting here bashing it (probably like every other Spider-man fan online), but because I love this character so much, I expect nothing but the best. I expect other creators to "get" the character like I do, and I definitely don't want whatever cultural fad to invade it and mutate the character into something he's not. I guess what it gets down to is that even with the minimal excitement I had, I am immensely disappointed in this creative choice. Hopefully Marc Webb, Andrew Garfield, and Emma Stone can prove me otherwise.

Prove me wrong guys, please