Wiki Wild, Wiki Wild....

Wiki wild wild HEX! Jonah Hex, desperado, rough rider, nah you don't want nunna....

Yeah, I watched Jonah Hex...

They forgot to add "Wild Wild West 2"

Jonah Hex (2010)
Starring: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox
"Directed" By: Jimmy Hayward

Let me get this out of the way. In no way, shape, or form is Jonah Hex a good film. My god. It's not even a "so bad it's good" comic book film like Ghost Rider or Punisher: War Zone. It is a waste of the talent involved (wtf were Malkovich and Brolin thinking?) and a disgrace to the "Jonah Hex" character and comic book that has been kicking ass and taking names for some 60 plus issues now.

The plot focuses on Jonah Hex (played admirably by Brolin, the only good thing in this movie) being called into action by the government to stop Quintin Turnbull, the man who not only killed Hex's family, but also scarred him as well. Malkovich plays Turnbull as the most bored villain ever. His voice never rises above a monotone, including when he is supposed to be rallying his troops to get ready to bomb of our nation's capitol. Oh, Megan Fox also shows up playing a prostitute who's actually a sweet girl. And a terrible actress.

The thing that bothers me about this movie (NERD RANT ALERT) is that the Jonah Hex series is so good that the writers and director Hayward could have picked literally ANY storyline from the amazing current series and had a rock-solid, old school western revenge movie. Instead, we get a Hex who, while looks the part, has the ability to speak to the dead and has gattling guns on his horse. For everything that movies like Kick-ass, Watchmen, Iron Man, and Christopher Nolan's Batman films have done to propel comic books and comic book movies into a realm of more "serious" entertainment, Jonah Hex comes along and drops a big ol' dump right on top of not only them, but the character as well.  Even die hard Hex fans should stay far, far away.
Zero mechanical spiders out of 5*

*In fact, here's a link to both Jetpack Comics and some "Jonah Hex" comics on amazon.com. Do yourself a favor and pick one up from either one of those places instead of watching this crap.

WizardWorld!

This weekend I had a dream come true that I never thought would happen. I got to sit in the 1960's Batmobile. Yeah it cost me twenty bucks, but come on, when would I have ever had the chance to sit in the Batmobile again?

If you're wondering how I got to WizardWorld Boston this weekend, it's all thanks to Jetpack Comics, the world's first orbital comic shop, conveniently located in Rochester, New Hampshire. I went down with a couple of other co-workers to help run the table and shill our super exclusive "Spike" #1 variant, which coincided with the fact that Spike himself (James Marsters) would be in attendance, as well as numerous other Buffy The Vampire Slayer stars, John Schneider (from The Dukes Of Hazzard  and Smallville), Doug Jones (Abe Sapien from Hellboy), and even the original Batman and Robin themselves, Adam West and Burt Ward. Although I think I may have offended Mr. West a little bit by referring to the 60's Batman show as the "old show", he still fist bumped me, and hearing him say the words "dynamic duo" made me just about pee my pants.

A super blurry picture of Pa Kent

Many of the guests were extremely nice, especially Mr. Schneider. It seemed like every time I walked by his booth he was down for a friendly chat about both Hazzard and Smallville, as well as life in general. Around lunch time I sent him a slice of pizza, which he was extremely enthusiastic about. We're pretty much best friends now.

Another guy who was extremely nice and approachable was Doug Jones. The Hellboy and Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer star was quite possibly one of the nicest celebrities I've ever met, and acting as the waypoint for his hug to my roommate was a pretty welcome surprise. I also got to meet some comic artists, including Arthur Sudyam (Marvel Zombies), Shane Davis (the upcoming Superman: Earth One hardcover), and Ethan Van Scrier, the legendary artist behind many of the recent Green Lantern story lines.

This guy's costume was the definition of "movie quality"

While the show may have been kind of a bust for the store, I had a phenomenal time just getting to experience the show, and meeting some people who I never in my lifetime thought I'd get to meet. I really hope I get the chance to attend some more shows, but even if that doesn't happen I'll never forget this awesome experience.

Of All of The Joker and Harley Quinn costumes, these were the best. Kudos sir and madam.....

......And of all the Batman costumes, this guy's RULED